The Long Way Round...

Let's start this off with a Doctor Who reference shall we?

Losing weight is a lot like a Time Lord's regeneration, but much slower.  Instead of a sudden release of regeneration energy and a sudden metamorphosis, humans have to take the "long way round."

It's been two weeks since my last entry, and it was on purpose.  I wanted to take two weeks to get back in the habit and really start this thing off right.  I did the same thing during my first "regeneration."  I am pleased to report it's gone well so far.

For this blog entry I thought I'd talk a little bit about Weight Watchers and share some of the things I'm doing this time around.

When I first began this journey in 2013, WW was much different in its point counting system.  Everything, and I mean everything, had to be accounted when tracking.  I was very diligent.  If I intended to eat something, I tracked it.  I worked very hard not to "blow my points."

Quickly, you might be asking yourself what blowing your points means.  WW works on a point system.  Roughly, the organization gathers some information about you, your current weight, height, etc... Then it calculates a daily point value.  Subscribers are then responsible for eating enough food to meet that daily goal in addition to exercising.  As you lose weight, that number decreases.

WW has since changed their point system.  It's called Weight Watchers Freestyle.  You still have to track what you eat, but only those things that have a point value.  If you eat something that is worth zero points... say an apple or some carrots... you don't have to track that item.  Foods with a zero point value aren't going to impact your daily goal, so why track them?

Freestyle also includes a list of 200-plus foods that are zero point foods.  Some may surprise you.  A chicken breast with no fat is zero points.  Now, the way you cook it may increase the value... say frying it, but generally speaking, the point value is zero.

When I started WW again at the first of the year, I was introduced to this new system.  At first, I was a bit put off.  I am an analytical person.  I want to see all the data in front of me, so I can keep track of it.

But you know what?  I actually really enjoy Freestyle.

I don't worry about the zero point value foods.  Sometimes, I track them out of habit.  Most of the time, I don't.  I only track the foods that carry a point value.  If I'm not sure, I can scan the barcode with my WW app to give me some direction.  If the food isn't found, I can add it myself.  I plug in the nutritional information and the app gives me a point value.

I've also been using the app to find new food recipes to eat.  I've had some great success.

Chile and Cumin Fried Mahi Mahi on Steamed Bok Choy and a side of Brown Rice (minus the rice, the plate is worth 0 points)

Summer Corn, Bacon, and Potato Chowder (3 points a serving)

Slow Cooker Lasagna. (10 points a serving)

While the app is great and the food has been phenomenal... I've had some issues.  I've stayed within my daily goals.  I've not overeaten or anything like that... but I've dealt with some awful hunger pains.

My abdomen feels like someone is constantly squeezing it.  It's been difficult to deal with in some respects.  But, I think it is starting to subside.  My body knows I'm not going to give in this time.

You know, I've always referred to this thing I am trying to accomplish as a journey.  Having lost 130 pounds the last time around, gained a fair amount of it back, and failed multiple times to lose it again, I've started to see this as more of a war than a journey.  It's a constant battle between what my brain wants and what my heart wants.  That's only one of the fights raging inside me.

I deal with the emotions of being overweight and wanting to lose it.  I'm impatient.  I get perturbed when the weight doesn't fall off quickly enough.

The biggest problem, however:  I am a food addict.

Food addiction is different than other addictions.  Do you know why?  Since I can't give you three guesses, I'll just tell you.  With most addictions, you don't need the substance or item you're addicted to to survive.  Food is the opposite.  You have to have it.  There inlays the difficulty with food addiction.

You may be addicted to food if:

-- You have to have certain foods during certain events in your life.  For instance, I always eat ice cream while watching Game of Thrones or Star Trek:  Discovery on Sunday nights.  It's the same with Doctor Who on Saturday nights.

-- You get upset when your order what you believe to be the biggest plate of food in the restaurant, and get upset when you realize the portion is smaller than what you thought.

-- You get upset when you think a restaurant has given you a smaller amount of food than you thought you ordered.

-- You do not know how to stop.  If the food is in front of you... you're going to eat it.  The most recent example for me... I was eating at a restaurant recently.  The meal I ordered came with bottomless fries. I ate my first round and was going to call it quits.  Well, the server brought me a reorder without asking and sat it down in front of me.  What did I do?  Start eating it.  I physically had to pour a glass of water and ice on the food to stop.

-- You simply eat without care.

That last note describes me perfectly.  I've been through a lot the last few years of my life.  As a result, food became my comfort.  It was always there and I could get whatever I needed to give me a moment's worth of peace.  But it didn't last long.  And there I'd be... trying to find something to quench my sorrow-inspired hunger a short time later.

Admittedly, I am still dealing with it.  I think I always will.  Food addiction is like a predator.  It's stalking you... waiting to make the kill.  Being the prey can get terribly exhausting.

Right now, I'm able to manage it.  I'm eating well.  I watch, carefully, the foods that could sidetrack me.  At the same time, I don't cut myself off from the things I enjoy... like ice cream.  It is my weakness.  If I plan to eat it for whatever reason, I make sure I've had plenty of exercise and have eaten very well during the day.  Cutting out everything is really detrimental to what I'm trying to achieve.  I just need to make better choices and manage it.

So far, so good.  And I have some proof to back it up.

When I started this anew at the first of the month, I weighed 354 pounds.  I am proud to report I am down to 340 pounds.  Still... a very long way to go, but I have your support and the support of those who genuinely like and love me.

I leave you with the immortal words of the 12th Doctor.

"Laugh hard.  Run fast.  Be kind.  Doctor, I let you go."

Until next time dear reader, Be Infinite.