Reality... here it goes again

It's time I'm honest with myself.  It's time I'm honest with you, dear reader.

My weight loss journey, which started out pretty well, has come to a crashing stop.  I have no one to blame, but myself.  Trust me, it's easier to point fingers.  I've done it.  I've tried.  But I've finally realized that, while pointing fingers at others, three fingers were pointing right back at me.  That sounds terribly simplistic, but the fact remains it demonstrates a reality even I can't ignore.

Losing weight is hard.  Everyone has different health challenges, but this one is mine.  Losing weight and keeping it off will be the hardest thing I will ever do.

But there is something even more difficult to deal with and that's the reality I failed.  I don't mean to sound so dramatic, but I don't wish to cheapen the situation with lightweight words.  This is my failure and if I'm ever going to complete this journey, I have to own it.  So... see for yourself.

Ignore the date.  That's wrong.  Clearly I should change it, but that doesn't change the fact I'm back above the 300 mark.  Grossly above the mark.  Still, it's not as bad as it once once.  When I started this thing, I was 394 pounds.

I don't mean to be a "Debbie downer," I just have to put this in black and white.  That often brings a sense of realism to my dilemmas.  In doing so, it allows me to approach the issue and make it right.

And I will make it right.  I will make this right.  At my lightest, I weighed 269 pounds.  I can get there again.  It's going to, as it should, take a lot of hard work and a real effort on my part.  It's going to require focus and realistic goals.  

While I admit gaining the weight back is my fault, that is the only thing I can do by myself; take responsibility for the weight gain.  I have realized that fact.    I've also realized I need help.  I can't lose the weight on my own.  I need those who love me and genuinely like me to aid me in the quest.  

This blog, which I've decided to revive, is part of the help those individuals and you, dear reader, provide.  While it allows me the chance to celebrate success as it happens, it will also allow me to vent about my tribulations and to "keep it real."  It also keeps me honest and allows others to keep me accountable.  As long as one person is reading my words, I feel as though I must continue to progress.  I don't like to fail myself or others.

If I'm being honest, that's why I quit writing it.  No one to be accountable to meant I didn't have the follow through.  It's selfish, but it's honest.

So, here we go again.  Here's to watching what I eat.  Here's to learning to love exercise again.  Here's to finding new ways to be healthy.  Here's to fitting in to my clothes comfortably again.  Here's to running 5k races again.  Here's to running and playing with my children and not being winded.  Here's to being active with, not only them, but the woman in my life.

As always, Be Infinite.

Mason

P.S.  With the blog back in action, I hope to write about other topics outside of the weight loss journey.  It's going to be a big focus, but I want to share thoughts on other topics.  The last time I wrote here, I was a television news journalist.  As such, I was very guarded with my words as not to land myself in a difficult professional position.  I am no longer in the news business having vacated those premises just a few months ago.  Topics will probably include being a divorced parent (Yeah, that happened.), Doctor Who, the books I'm reading, movies or television shows I'm watching, occasionally politics and religion, and so on.  Of course, I'll probably write about just good ole' fashion life from time to time.  As always, I encourage feedback.